David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
