I'm so fucking centered right now
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
