Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The Olympian is in my bed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
