My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We named our party play list daddy issues
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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