I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
