Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
