I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
