He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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