No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
