At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
