READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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