good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
