Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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