the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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