The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
