I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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