I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
