girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
