No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
