i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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