Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
