he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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