She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
