i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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