you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
