Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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