You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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