so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
