marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
