She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
