New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
