He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize