Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
