i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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