im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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