Porn is love you can see.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
