Porn is love you can see.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
