Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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