Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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