***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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