What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
