Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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