What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
