I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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