Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My vagina is very pro this idea
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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