you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
