i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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