dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
