You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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