I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
