Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
