just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
