I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
