"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
