Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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