That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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