I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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