You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
