I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
