He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
