She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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