i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You were trust falling into bushes
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